At the time I am writing this, I have already bought a college sweatshirt, chosen a roommate, and committed to moving halfway across the country. I feel so excited and hopeful for this next part of my life; yet, every day the start of that new chapter draws closer, I feel two things deep in the pit of my stomach: the sadness that comes when great things end alongside the fear that looms when new things begin.

High school seniors don’t always talk about this duality of emotions; they veil it with senior year Instagram and Facebook college announcements (perhaps with the hope that projecting such unwavering enthusiasm will erase the uncertainty before them). While I look forward to the future, I cannot help but feel that I am also mourning the end of these past four years.

I won’t exaggerate and tell you that I’ve loved every single second of my time here at Marymount. There were days when I forgot every trigonometry formula needed to pass my math PEQ or when I didn’t get to the salad bar in time for the avocado to still be in stock. Of course, I also suffered through late night panics over tests and the relentless anxiety accompanying college applications. However, I can honestly tell you that I would not want to have gone through these challenges, to experience both the good and the bad of growing up, at any place else than Marymount.

Marymount is home to me: it is the place where I see the people I love every day, where I have laughed and cried, where I feel comfortable to be nothing less than my absolute self. I will never be able to fully express my deep gratitude to Marymount and to my amazing parents for allowing me to attend this place I call home.

These past four years have given me the strongest and most worthwhile friendships of my life. I know that it is naive to think that my best friends and I will all be as close as we are now for the rest of our lives; nevertheless, I must grasp onto this hope for as long as I can because I cannot bear the thought of leaving the girls who have shaped all the best parts of who I am. The Class of 2017 is full of spirited, quick-thinking, compassionate, hard-working, and creative women who are on the path to changing the world, and I am so proud to have been a part of this amazing group.

Marymount has also gifted me with the most incredible teachers– mentors who will give up an hour of their free time just to talk me through difficult times, who will send me random encouraging emails, who will wholeheartedly listen to my opinions and actually care. I know that next year, I will be just another face in a crowded lecture hall, so I have truly treasured my time with my high school teachers who have taken the time to get to know and understand me.

Finally, as I reflect on the highlights of my high school career, I immediately think about how valuable my time here at The Anchor has been over the past four years. Here, I have learned the typical organization, writing, and communication skills that one can get from editing any newspaper. However, being a part of The Anchor has also taught me much more important lessons: I’ve learned that freedom of speech and of the press is worth fighting for, that you can find inspiration in the strangest of places, that inside every person–every girl– is a voice ready to say something that really matters. I am so thankful to the readers, writers, photographers, and editors for helping me to learn this, but I am forever grateful in particular for our moderator, Ms. Hazell-O’Brien. She has put her heart and soul into supporting The Anchor and the students. I feel so lucky to have been able to work with and gotten to know her these past couple years.

On my first day of high school, I didn’t know a single person. I woke up an hour early to blowdry my hair, smiled so much throughout the day that my face got sore, and was overwhelmed by the nervous excitement of starting a new phase of my life. As I sat in that first Community looking at the seniors, I wondered who I would become at the end of these four years. While I still may not have a concrete realization of my personal identity that might fulfill my fourteen-year-old self’s wistful thinking, I am definitely leaving Marymount with an understanding of my values, a confidence in my strengths, and an appreciation of the memories of this time.

To the rising senior Class of 2018: Your last year at Marymount will be fantastically complicated with periods of unbridled joy and of devastating worry. At more than one point, you will wish that you could just skip forward to the end of the year, past all of the moments in between. Don’t. Those moments, however difficult or dull they may be, are the memories that you will treasure and long to relive someday once it is all over. Savor every minute you have left, and spend the time doing what you love with people you love because you can’t get this time back.